Admitting the problem is the first step to recovery

The other day, I saw a sign that made me wonder if I might have a problem...

You know, I'd never thought about it before but could I be addicted to beds? I quickly ran through a checklist of the seven symptoms...

• Neglect of other activities: I probably do spend more time in bed than I do on any other piece of furniture I own. Hmmm...
• Excessive use: Yeah, pretty much every night. Especially the nights when I sleep (not counting the times I fall asleep hunched over a steering wheel or over the condiment dispenser at 7-Eleven).
• Impaired control: When I'm in bed, I can actually still do quite a few things. For example, it's pretty easy to use the bathroom. So while that may be indiciative of another problem, I may be okay on this one.
• Persistence of use: Like I said above, almost every single night!
• Large amounts of time spent in bed related activities: Oh, heh heh, I don't want to brag but...well, actually no. 
• Withdrawal: I wish I was in bed right now!
• Tolerance: I am completely used to spending time in bed now.

Oh my god! I might have a problem!